Sherlock's Final Teisho

[note: As some of you may know, Sherlock was an advanced Zen master. The photo shows him with his paws on the zabuton, indicating that he had full ownership of that cushion. Full ownership was a very important principle to him, and he always demonstrated it in his practice. Masters in the Buddhist tradition often know they are dying, and leave final instructions. We discovered the transcript of this talk to the Kittens, his followers, on our computer last night.]

kittens dear kittens
lifeanddeath is
the great matter
and now my time is come

i have spoken
with you often
telling you about
things as i see them

and i am most gratified
to see that a few
of you were
paying attention
although i must agree
that tustling and napping
were often a more
appropriate response

i am much more gratified
than with my silly attempts
to train my people
in the noble skill
they insisted in calling
giving the cat his treats

i quickly gave up on the man
seeing that he was simply unable
to grasp the subtle intricacies
which were required

the woman was coming along
very nicely until she got it
into her head to move
the library box which
made no sense at all

even she never quite grasped
the notion that constant practice
was necessary in order to
master this routine

i was telling you this story
in order to make a point
but my mind has become cloudy
everything passes quickly away

kittens don’t look
to the tallest
or the strongest
or the smartest one
to tell you what is true
the answer always lies
within yourself
nowhere else after all
you are - The Cat

thank you very much
and now get on
with it

kittens -
if you insist on getting in
a box stay in the box
learn to stay that's what
it's all about otherwise
you're just one more kitten
i don't think this maru
is so special he just happens
to have a video camera

Prime Example of Stupidity

So here's that Maru
making a fool of himself
trying the same old thing
even tho it doesn't work
i've seen humans do that
a cat should be able
to do better

Maru's new trick

so that asian cat maru
has a new trick namely
walking around with a bag
over his head. i guess thats ok
for those who like to be cute
tho it doesn't seem to me
that it took a lot of intelligence
it made me think however
the world might be a better place
if people had bags over their heads
think about it. they
would all be anonymous then
maybe they would give up on
some of those ego trips
I personally am not
interested. my face is probably
my best feature.

[Pekoe, horrified at the thought]
Faithful Correspondent writes -

Pekoe had quite an upset yesterday. Myrna stopped by, and thought Cat Stevens was Pekoe! As if all orange cats look alike. Didn't she see her white bib and mug, the incredible yellow eyes and that flag pole tail? Why, Cat is coarse, with outdoor fur and manners.

Sherlock's reply -
i don t mean to say this isn t a tragedy
it puts me in mind of the time the woman
sprayed me with endust she thought i
would make a good self-propelled dust mop
kind of like a roomba only much quieter of
course she said it was a case of mistaken
identity she thought i was an old pajama top
well to some people all cats are
gray at night it is speciesism thats all
its ugly but a fact of life
perhaps pekoe would benefit from a
support group i myself used to belong to
biters anonymous it was a fun crowd

kittens i say to you
when you fight, bite down
on the thing and kick it
with your back legs
a lot do not stint
show it no mercy this
one classic strategy will
serve you well all
your life you don't ever
need any other practice
use it without discrimination
on catnip mice or mu s
or failing that the
bottom of the couch
i am telling you this kung
fu thing is a human fad
and you are best staying
away from it pretty paw
action is not where its
at do not succumb to
the allure of youtube
fame is fleeting and not
that tasty

An invasion of Mu

the woman got back
from the doctor
today and said
mankind cannot stand
too much reality this
is a quote from a famous
cat poet
too much Mu she said
now arthritis
that's nothing
pls see attached photo
that is the back of my head
of course
and i am on the kitchen table
which is my territory
and as you can see
the Mu wanted to get in
regard
the terror in his eyes
im sorry but
you have to set boundaries