The First Animal: a Message for Obama

[video: Barney bites reporter, kherman54]
Dear President-Elect:
I, Sherlock, am writing to you out of concern about the news of the day. Otherwise sensible journalists are talking about which dog your family is going to choose. This has deflected attention from the question that should have been asked: What kind of animal should inhabit the White House? Leaving aside choices with obvious drawbacks - miniature horse, parrot, monkey - this debate really should center on cat vs. dog.

But no. All anyone can talk about is Should it be a Labradoohickey or a Portuguese Something. Everyone's on the bandwagon. Is anybody but me thinking, Wait a minute! Don't we really need a First Cat? I guess not. It's the meta-question. And you're the one who can set it straight.

I don't mean to blame the victim, but it's true, we cats have never been good at PR. We're like Poets that way. A lot like Poets, really. We are highly intuitive, graceful. We are works of art on four feet, all of us. You have to look hard to find an unbeautiful cat, but dogs? Ha.

Then there's the question of function. A cat in the White House could change the world. Think what a powerful influence for peace I, Sherlock, could be, lying serenely in the center of the oriental rug in the Oval Office, washing my face, unconcerned with rockets and natural gas and stuff like that. It would give those diplomats some perspective. And I will point out, as a pie-bald cat from the shelter, I am basically what you'd call bi-racial. That ought to count for something with you.

The only White House dog that ever did anything interesting was that last one. He bit a reporter. I have included the video above in case you missed it.
Sincerely,
Sherlock