Giving away moneys: A cat's guide

[photo: J. Wellington Cat III. No gender confusion here.]

Several Kittens have asked if I can explain people, so I will try, starting with the very human invention, moneys.

Today the TV told a story about how some humans were going to be kicked out of their territory unless they came up with a lot of moneys. So a friend of theirs wrote on her blog asking everyone in the world to send them money through clicks and everyone did. So they got to stay in that territory. There's a lot about this that's hard for a rational animal to understand.

To begin with, it involves moneys. Not only are moneys not everything, they aren't really anything, but if you have them you can get food and territory because - this is important - everyone thinks moneys are something.

But people didn't actually give the family moneys. They gave clicks. Clicks are electrons that fly straight to Paypal (it's a keyboard thing, which is why they don't like you to lie on it). You say, Aha, then Paypal is the same as moneys. No, Paypal is electrons that stand for moneys. You click and Paypal tells the Mastercard person to give someone some of your numbers. Then later, you give the Mastercard person some numbers. Somehow all this works, they eat very well, and I am lucky to snatch a bite of chicken now and then.

Back to the story. A lot of people gave clicks, and the family was able to catch up on the mortgage, which is the price you pay for living on someone else's territory. This may not make sense to you, but is definitely better than the way they handle territory in the Middle East.

I know, you're thinking the high finance is far from the most interesting part of the story. The interesting part is that all these people gave clicks to total strangers just because they asked for them.

I, Sherlock, read the story very carefully, hoping to find out why. I was pretty sure none of the click-givers were male. You will never see a male cat give up anything, it doesn't even matter whether it's edible. Female cats cooperate now and then, when it involves kittens, lionesses being a prime example. But the article didn't say anything about the gender of the people who clicked. And the fact is, people can be even more confused about gender than moneys. It's not so clear as it is with us. They can have both male and female in them. This is why they have to read books.

I hope this helps.